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Juz someone who wants to lead an ordinary life. =)
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memories carved at the back of my brain
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
right...
 the new guitar p and vp. =)
right. today was a bad day. i am pissed with myself for being so complacent, so lazy and thinking so highly of myself. i am wrong. never been so wrong before.
yes i flopped my prelims. or rather i didn't do as well as i expected. got back phy chem and math. whoa. what a nice digit man. how nice grades i am getting. how great are them. yes nice dude. did a great job man. i am so proud of myself. like real. whoa. failed chem essay. yes that's great. yes good job girl. how wonderful to fail chem essay. whoa even phy mcq also fail. thats even better. whoa all below average in class and just scraping a pass. how great. excellent job.
just blaming myself for not studying hard enough. i am determined to study harder for As this time. one thing lucky. its only the prelims. can't imagine how many parents will react man. can't depend on moderation all the time. yes i shall start studying. or rather i finished 1.5 chaps of econs today. i shall do revision every single day for the next 6 weeks before i take another break. an eight month long break.
though i know results aren't everything and i trying to convince myself, i can't help feeling hurt by the cold hard facts. its hard to act as if nothing has happened but i also can't whine and complain about it. well. i did complain. but what's done is already done. i hate to be judged by grades. i disappointed the teachers. how great. i even gotten the 'lina low symptom' of imagining her face popping up in front of me when studying econs, jumping whenever she walks past my table during prelims. what a great impact on me to study econs. while i am not blaming anybody. maybe i am just too stressed up in trying to study and pass my econs. blah. okie. i decided not to whine about it anymore. bet its a bad ordeal for everyone today. i can't help thinking of what free had wrote about competition instinct in everyone which makes the world more cruel more competitive and more materialistic in trying to show off. but we made a joke out of it anyway in trying to do it back to the person. lol.
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okie time to stop whining about unhappy stuff. lets get on with life dudes. time for some happy stuff! =) backtracking again. =)
watch movie with joo hl and san. nice movie by the way. its 'the longest yard', showing how a person can change in prison and how friendships and bond is formed. the whole movie is on a rugby match between the convicts and the guards. great movie. =) also shows how the powerful people try to get what they want by threating and bribing in order to save their face or re-establish their position. of course, the story has a nice ending. =)
had a mini steamboat at cy's house again with the 07 people on sun. no cycling though. 10 of ue gathered. had a nice steamboat. =) suggested udon and it became a substitute for rice when we finish them. i didn't eat my fill anyway lol. played the 'desai game'. was dealing the cards since i can't scream as i was losing my voice. had a great time watching how everyone trying to scream each other's 'names' fast enough haha. =P
lol meeting my 2J peeps tomorrow back at rv for the tioman trip. hopes its confirmed. =D then can start preparing ourselves for the trip right after our As woo hoo~ =D hope i will survive this week emotionally. and my aunt's wedding this sat also. =) will definitely miss her after living with her since i am born. great aunt great listener. wishing her all the best for her future life. =)
8:32 PM
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