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Juz someone who wants to lead an ordinary life. =)
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memories carved at the back of my brain
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
ordeal...
finally the ordeal of collecting all the results is over. done not up to expectations especially for chem. bucking up. think will lose the bet badly with free.
disappointment gotten over me these few days. lack of hard work, studying last minute, lack of discipline and determination is the main reason for not scoring well. but input might not necessary means output. luck still plays a big role. seen a lot of people putting in a lot of effort in studying, but they do not get what they deserve. have talent and brain won over being hardworking? or the performance and mental prepareness determine the victory or losing of the hard battle in the first place? not to be stuck in thinking and regretting. decision is made by one and we have to follow them. time to move on.
nearly died just now from PE when my lungs suddenly 'malfunction' for a short while. even though i took deep breaths, i can't feel that the oxygen in my blood is being replaced. can't help thinking of it. what happen if i ended up like those soldiers who died during SAF training with a lot of unfulfilled dreams to complete and dream of, causing agony in my close ones? dreams. are they meant to be fulfilled or are they out of reach if the situation does not permit us to pursue them.
when we are young and innocent, we use to think everything is possible for us to fulfil when we have not faced the harsh reality of the society emphasising on your achievements and educational level. from young, we are 'segregated' to whether we belong to the top 10% person or whatever and it seems to determine our future path. most people are already demoralised by the education and brainwashed that results are everything. only some are able to hit back to their desired path after hard work. people's first impressions especially adults of children/youths normally based it on their schools. one of the few questions that we normally ask someone who you have just met," Hi! Which school are you from?" if you are from a top school, generally people think of you as a brainy person / mugger and somehow hold you at a higher regard. though this may sound like i am generalising, but i can't help feeling this way.
i nearly ended up in the EM2 stream and my parents went to see the school principal to get me back to the EM1 stream. i was thinking, what's wrong with being in EM2 and what difference will it make to me? i succeeded in opting to EM1 in the end, just taking 1 more subject which is HCl. but what's the difference? it made no sense to me. in primary school even such classification of the 'elite' students are carried out. but results does not mean character, which is more important as a person. i am glad that they are abolishing this stupid system that i went through.
i seemed to be critising the education system in a few entries. but i guess things turn out the best for the people who make the best out of everything ie we will find the best way to face problems and unhappiness about life if we make the best out of everything we do and see. =) perhaps i shall stop whining about the harsh reality that students face like the perceptions and impressions of people of us and get on with life. try to lead one which is meaningful and memorable. =)
6:04 PM
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